Abortion attempt survivor. Voice for the voiceless.

Once again, I apologize that I am not posting very frequently. Unfortunately, it has been a couple of very long weeks at our house. Our darling Olivia first had a terrible allergic reaction to strawberries last week (we had been trying, by trial and error, to take foods away to determine what was bothering her) and now we’ve been with her at St. Luke’s hospital since Tuesday night. What we thought was a reaction from the strawberry allergy actually turned out to be MRSA (Methicillin resistant Staphylococcus aureus)! Poor little thing….she had minor surgery to open the infection in her groin area, and now, two days later, she is showing some signs of improvement.   I have never been so scared and so worried in my life.

I have learned that MRSA is all too common these days, but most of all, through this experience, I have learned just how precious and fragile life is, and how easy it can be to take our loved ones for granted. I share this with all of you because, even though I have believed all this time that I have known this (each day is a gift), and that I’ve lived my life accordingly, having a critically ill child has given me an even sharper perspective on this. I have known all of these years that I am blessed to be alive, to have been able to go on from the abortion attempt and live a productive, healthy life, and most importantly, to be Olivia’s mother. However, seeing our poor daughter so sick, so helpless, and feeling so powerless over the situation, has helped me to recognize that I easily take things for granted each day, despite knowing each day is not a given, it’s a gift.

I prayed and prayed so much over these past few days for Olivia’s recovery, for a reprieve from the pain that she was experiencing, and I was humbled once again my God’s will and His power. I am so grateful that God has helped our Olivia in her recovery thus far, and I leave this experience with an even greater respect for God and for my family.   I can not imagine my life without my daughter, and I am committed to showing my gratitude for each and every moment that I have with her.

When considering the impact of abortion and the number of lives lost from it, it is often stated that our world has likely lost out on many important and influential individuals, doctors who could have found a cure for cancer, the next president of the U.S., so on and so forth. Not that I disagree with that statement, but when I think about the impact of abortion, particularly on my life and the lives of my family, I think about all of the things in life that I would have missed out on, on a daily basis, if the abortion would have been successful in ending my life.

Every moment, however big or small, however interesting or mundane, is a gift. Listed below is my “Top 10” list of just a handful of moments that I would have missed out on over the weekend with my dear daughter, Olivia:

• Teach Olivia how to slide down the slide, and see and hear the joy that learning to do this has brought her.

• Sit in bed, surrounded by pillows, while Olivia “reads” books aloud to me.

• Experience teaching Olivia how to color and use paint to make pictures and a Father’s Day card for her Daddy.

• Watch as Olivia carried a wet diaper to her room, opened the diaper pail, and put it in!

• Witness Olivia FINALLY progressing to napping on her own, as she grabbed a kitchen towel from the front of the oven for her “blankie” and drug it into her room for her nap.

• Overhear Olivia talking to herself and singing as she awoke from a good night’s sleep and after both of her naps.

• Witness my daughter burp embarrassingly loud in the produce section of the grocery store and laughed along with the handful of other people that overheard her, as I tried to teach her to say “excuse me.”

• Watch with amazement and pride, as my tiny, yet powerful, 13-month-old knocked more than one five or six-year-old in the chest on the children’s playground, then laughed in their face as she scampered along in the sea of toys and children.

• Hold my beautiful girl in my arms after she awoke from a nap still sleepy and wanted to be rocked, and gaze into her face while I reflected on the past year of her life and what the future will hold for her.

• Experience Olivia wrapping her little arms around my neck and squeezing me hard, as she nuzzled her face in my neck for a big hug.

I got to thinking today about how people have responded to me sharing my life story with them, and I am happy to share that overall, I have experienced a wealth of support and care from people around the world, which I am so very grateful for. Although 99.9% of the responses I’ve received have been positive, I, of course, have received some negative responses and feedback. To contrast my top ten list above, here are a handful of the most interesting and negative responses that I’ve experienced:

• This has to be B.S.

• Nice performance! (Directed at me as a pro-choice student was leaving in the middle of one of my speeches and I was moved to tears telling about my father’s death and my daughter’s birth).

• Too bad that you survived.

• Just because you were wanted doesn’t mean that all of the other children who are aborted are wanted.

• So, since you survived, don’t you think that safer, more effective abortion is the answer?

In the grand scheme of life, those top 5 negative responses that I have listed above, as hurtful as they can be, pale in comparison to the plethora of positive, joyful moments that I am blessed to experience on a daily basis.

“And who says that prayers go unanswered?” Father Callahan said out loud to the group of individuals gathered at the Respect Life Service in Onawa, Iowa, on April 19, 2009, as he gave the closing prayer for the evening. Tears streaming down his face, this was not the first time this evening that the Father had been moved to tears, nor anyone else in the room at the Evangelical Free Church, for that matter.

You see, this wasn’t just any pro-life, interfaith service that took place that Sunday evening. It was a meeting of the hearts and minds, a joining of the souls, a face to face reminder that there is power in prayer, and that all life is precious.

On that Sunday evening, Father Callahan arrived for the Respect Life service grateful for the interfaith collaboration and excited to hear the speaker for the evening, saline infusion abortion survivor, Melissa Ohden.

Little did he know that as he stepped into the Church that evening, he would come face to face with one of the very babies that he had prayed for at St. Luke’s Hospital in Sioux City, Iowa, back in 1977. And likewise, little did abortion survivor, Melissa Ohden, know that she would come face to face with a man whose prayers had been answered, whose prayers had saved her life.
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I scanned the crowd during my speech that night of April 19, 2009, just like I do during every one of my speeches, searching the faces of the group gathered, for feedback about whether I was getting my message across and searching for whether they, too, had a story about how abortion has affected their life.

And just like every other time, as I scanned the crowd to gauge their response, I was met with a host of faces filled with tears, man and woman, young and old, alike. One young man on the left side of the room really stood out to me amidst the crowd. Holding his head in his hands, his head full of red hair shaking back and forth from time to time, he was visibly taken by his emotions. What those emotions were, I can only guess. Unfortunately, he came and went from the service before I had a chance to talk with him.

On the opposite side of the room from this young man, another man, likewise, caught my gaze over and over again. Like the young man, he, too, had a shock of orange-ish blond hair, and like the young man opposite him, he, too, was visibly moved to tears. As I told my personal story that evening of surviving a saline infusion abortion attempt in 1977, in Sioux City, Iowa, of my long search for the truth about the abortion attempt and for my biological parents, of my reunification with members of my biological family and struggles with their acceptance of me and the abortion attempt, of my gratitude for the resource of adoption and the power of unconditional love, and of my joy in becoming a mother, myself, this man in the crowd took in every word and I couldn’t help but wonder about him.

Everyone has a story, and in particular, I know that everyone has a story about how abortion has touched their life. I could only guess how he, too, had been affected by abortion…..that was, until he climbed onto the stage and gave the final prayer for the evening, closing the Monona County Right to Life’s Respect Life Service that evening.

And who says that prayers go unanswered? Not me. Not Father Callahan.

While he was outside of St. Luke’s hospital in 1977, praying for the killing of unborn children to end, I was inside, struggling to survive the onslaught of a saline infusion abortion over a five day period. I struggled, but I survived.

While he continued to pray over the years for the sanctity of life to be respected, I prayed for the serenity and strength to forgive my biological parents and come forward publicly to share my story with the world.

While he gave the final prayer on April 19th, tears streaming down his face as he reflected on the power of prayer, so, too, were the tears streaming down my face as I sat in the crowd, transfixed by the awe-inspiring revelation of the power of his prayer.

“I will continue to pray for you,” Father Callahan told me as we embraced in the crowd after his prayer. “And I will pray for you,” I told him in return. “It’s a deal.”

Just as Father Callahan continues to pray for the unborn, for me in my work of sharing my story as the survivor of an abortion attempt, and I pray for his continued well-being and for the strength and courage and to continue my work, I have no doubt that our prayers will continue to be heard and answered. God bless you Father Callahan—Thank you for saving my life.

I just heard about this story on Family Radio the radio the other day, involving a 17-year-old, pregnant teen in Utah, who allegedly paid a man to beat her up and induce a miscarriage.  This young woman is accused of paying 21-year-old Arron Harrison $150 to beat her up, after her boyfriend threatened to break up with her if she didn’t get rid of the child.  She is now being charged in Juvenile Court with first degree felony criminal solicitation to commit murder, and she has been ordered by a Judge to remain in Juvenile Detention.

I must say that I am both horribly shocked but at the same time, not terribly surprised, by this unfortunate story.  When I was in high school and college myself, and now even when I visit high school and college campuses when I speak across the U.S., the incidence of young women inducing their own miscarriages was and is very commonplace.  What makes this young woman’s story so unique is the length at which she was willing to go to have this miscarriage, and the subsequent response to it.

I am saddened that this young woman felt such obvious pressure to end her pregnancy, for fear of losing her boyfriend.  Why is it that we punish this young woman for the poor choice that she made to place herself and her unborn child at risk, while her boyfriend, who influenced this decision, goes without any consequence?  Unfortunately, this is also a very common circumstance in our world; out of fear of losing her family, her friends, her significant other, her job or education, many women feel like ending their pregnancy, despite their own feelings about their unborn child, about having an abortion, is the only choice available to them to meet their needs.  All the while, the family, partner, friend, employer, whomever gave her the ultimatum, whomever backed her into a corner where she felt like abortion was the only choice, are not consequenced, are not even confronted by society for their actions or inactions to support the woman.

I don’t know for sure what drove my own mother to enter the hospital in August of 1977 to undergo the abortion attempt that was meant to take my life, but from what I’ve gathered so far from my biological father’s family, it may very well have been her father, my biological maternal grandfather, who influenced her to have the abortion.  My biological parents had dated for four years before becoming pregnant with me and from all accounts, they were in love with one another.  No one in my biological father’s family had any idea that my biological mother was ever pregnant with my father’s child.  The only thing that they do recall is that one night back in 1977, my maternal grandfather called my biological father and told him to “never darken their doorstep again.”  My biological parents broke up, and she was never seen with my father again.  My grandfather, a school administrator, was known to be a very demanding, commanding, controlling individual, and from the sounds of it, my mother’s life was not off limits to his control.

It’s interesting isn’t it, how this young woman, not much younger than my mother was when she became pregnant with me, is being charged with felony to commit murder for this incident, which gratefully did not severely harm her or her baby, but yet my own biological mother, who went through a five-day attempt to end my life, was never consequenced or scrutinized for the very same “choice” she made to attempt to end her child’s life.  Please know, by no means, do I believe that my mother should have faced criminal penalty for her choice to end my life, (her penalty has been to have to live with this for the rest of her life and ultimately face God someday), but I do want to point out the inconsistencies in our treatment of women and their so-called “choices”, and the often double standards that we impose.

I pray that this young woman comes out of this incident as best as she can, and that no matter what she chooses to do with her child, whether she keeps it, puts it up for adoption, that the baby is unharmed and is loved for who they are.  I can relate to this young woman’s unborn child.  I may have been unplanned by my biological mother, but I was far from being an unwanted child-just ask my adoptive parents.

On the evening of Sunday, March 15, I had a homecoming of sorts. I gave a speech in Storm Lake, Iowa, at the St. Mary’s church. Open to the public, this was the first speech of mine that my adoptive father had attended. In addition, my adoptive mother, aunt, cousins, in-laws, husband and daughter, and numerous friends from the community were present. It was kind of surreal, baring my soul to the very people who I had lived with, worked with, and gone to school with, for over 15 years. People who I, in fact, had kept the secret of being an abortion attempt survivor, from for all these years.

Although Sunday night’s speech wasn’t the best one that I’ve ever given (somehow, Olivia always seems to pull a no-sleep night with me when I need sleep the most), that really did’t matter to me. What matters is that I once again touched other people’s lives by sharing my story with them, I helped to unite the pro-life community in Storm Lake, and my family was together for the first time in a very long time. Although, in recent years, my adoptive family has experienced its share of conflict, our love for each other, and the story of how abortion affected all of our lives ties us together.

Speaking one on one with audience members is always my favorite part of a speaking event, and tonight was no exception. I got a big hug from a man who was the vice principal of my high school, which meant a lot to me. There were also a large number of foster and adoptive parents present. I always enjoy hearing about the children they’ve loved and let into their homes and hearts.

On Monday morning, I shared my story with grades 5-12 at St. Mary’s schools, and to be honest, I was really nervous about it. Although I’ve spoken to high school students before, and have worked with younger students in the past, I had never shared my personal story about abortion with younger students. Thankfully, the time and effort that I put into creating my speech, coupled with God’s guidance, made this the best event that I have ever done. For those of you that speak publicly, you know what I’m talking about—you know, right there in the midst of what you are doing, that you are nailing your speech, that you are connected with your audience, and connected I was. In that sanctuary, I was more honest with those kids than I ever have been with anyone else (besides my husband and God). From how I found out about the abortion to what my pregnancy was like with my daughter, I bared my soul to the students and let them see, firsthand, how abortion affects the lives of individuals and communities.

I was so impressed with how attentive the students were throughout my speech (especially since it was an early Monday morning), how well-behaved they were, and how insightful their questions were. I truly believe that kids have a leg-up on us as adults; they are so pure and so true.

Participating in this event with the students reinforced in me that reaching out to younger kids is key in pro-life work. Although it’s important to reach out to those young adults who are most impacted by abortion (college students), it’s even more important to reach out to kids before they get to that point, when they are busy forming their beliefs, principles.

Following the event, I was blessed to meet a handful of the students involved in the schools’ pro-life student group. What an amazing group of young people! Many, themselves, are adopted, and could relate to my story about growing up as an adoptee. The pro-life student group gave me the most wonderful gifts I have received from any speech—a HUGE thank you card on butcher paper, and a beautiful cross.

We were additionally blessed to have media coverage of the day’s event from the Pilot Tribune. Olivia and I were photographed along with some of the students from the Pro-Life student group (there is a link on the media page if you are interested).  Since that time, I have continued to hear great feedback from community members, family of students, and students themselves, about the event and how it impacted them and their perspective on abortion.

All in all, these two events in Storm Lake were a joy to do! Of course, I appreciate not having to jump on a plane and fly across the country to share my story, but even more so, I enjoy doing local events because this is not just my story, this is OUR story. The more I share my story, the more I’ve come to recognize that my story has affected tens of hundreds of people right here in my home community, and as I tell my story, it becomes the story of so many more. Thanks to all of you at St. Mary’s for your hospitality and your commitment to the pro-life movement!