Abortion attempt survivor. Voice for the voiceless.

Little did I know when I began working on this book, that we hope to have published in the next 12 months, that our lives would continue to provide experiences and events that would give a new meaning and new perspective to the journey from surviving to thriving and ultimately overcoming pain and adversity in our lives.  Sadly, as many know, we lost our second child last week at 11 weeks, through miscarriage.  This experience, as painful as it has been, is, and will continue to, make us better people, through God’s grace and our own choices in living through it.  Here is a brief glimpse into how our child’s life and our loss of him is shaping us thus far, and how we hope to help others as a result:

An excerpt from ‘Surviving to Thriving, the Journey in Overcoming’:

The funny thing or maybe, more correctly, the not so funny thing about the journey in surviving, thriving and overcoming is that it isn’t a one-time event.  It’s a process, and in reality, our lives are full of experiences and events that will challenge us, provide opportunities for emotional, mental, physical, relational and spiritual growth, and through God’s grace and our personal choices in those moments of adversity, we can overcome them and in doing so, become better people.

Even though I had been working on this book for some time, I didn’t truly understand this concept until November of 2011, when we lost our second child through a miscarriage at 11 weeks.  Although I have survived, thrived in the face of, and ultimately overcome many adversities in my life, I had, what I realize now in hindsight, taken for granted that a new and often even more painful experience or event is just around the corner, no matter how many storms we have weathered in the past, no matter how deep our relationship with Christ or how strong our faith.

I knew the statistics—1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, but never once in my life had I thought that I would be the statistic.   That only happens to “other people,” right? I’ve been through more than my fair share of pain and loss—that one wasn’t meant for me, or so I wanted to think.   If I can be one of just a handful of abortion survivors out of tens of millions of lives lost, however, I can certainly be any other statistic, including that of miscarriage.  As I’ve said, over and over again, the Lord never promised that this life would be easy, and He never guaranteed we’d be comfortable in this earthly world, but I’m sure, like me, when faced with an obstacle or painful experience, you’ve often thought, ‘why me? Why me AGAIN? Haven’t I experienced enough? Haven’t I hurt enough? Why not ‘so and so’ (fill in the blank with whoever comes to mind) with their seemingly perfect life this time and not me?’  As I watched, in horror, as my child’s life seemed to end before my eyes (in reality, their life had ended at just a few weeks gestation, due to a chromosomal abnormality, and my body was slow in catching on, or maybe, like my own spirit, didn’t want to believe that they were gone) and my body began the painful process of miscarriage over a course of a number of weeks, I vacillated between hope and despair, believing in God’s infinite wisdom in His plans for our child and our family, and questioning why, yet again, I was faced with what felt like insurmountable pain and suffering.

I knew, in my heart, that the Lord did not give us our precious child, made in His own image, just to take him so abruptly away, (I believe our young child was a boy, who I have named Gabriel, moved by the Holy Spirit to thus name him—‘God is my strength’-our mighty guardian angel), but in His redeeming grace, intervened in the midst of our crisis, and is using our Gabriel, and our pain in losing him, for great and mighty things.  Who knows how many people will experience the opportunity to survive, thrive, and overcome their own losses as a result of this very book, and our son’s short life?! Great and mighty things, indeed.   Knowing this brings me a sense of peace and joy, but it most certainly does not take away what we experienced in losing him, and does not take away our pain.  It is up to us to work through the pain, to have our eyes opened, our hearts widened, and our love and faith deepened, with the help of the Lord, to ultimately come out on the other side of the tunnel of pain and sadness, to a life that will never be the same, but one that is transformed for the better.

As President Obama celebrates his 50th birthday today, I want to congratulate him on this great achievement.  I wish you a wonderful birthday, Mr. President, but I can’t help but reflect on how so many other children (tens of millions, to be exact), will never have the opportunity to celebrate their 50th birthday, or a single birthday, for that matter, due to abortion.

I believe, in my heart, Mr. President, that considering your own childhood, you understand how every human life matters and has value, regardless of how they were conceived.  Despite the stance that you have taken time and time again that fails to acknowledge the importance of lives like mine, I wish you a blessed birthday.  I will continue to pray that your heart and mind be transformed, and that someday soon ALL children, regardless of circumstance or situation, will be valued and given the same opportunity as you to celebrate their birthday.

Honestly, I have a million other things that I should be working on right now, including the script for the documentary that is going to be produced about my survival and life, and the manuscript of my book, Ablaze, that needs to be to the editor again very soon, but I just can’t get this story out of my head.  If you haven’t seen this yet, here’s the story as reported by Steven Ertelt from LifeNews.com:

A Minneapolis, Minnesota couple is making waves across the Internet with a web site they created allowing the public to vote on whether or not they should give birth or have an abortion.

Pete and Alisha Arnold are both 30 and they are 17 weeks pregnant with a perfectly healthy baby nicknamed “Wiggles.” The unborn baby is just weeks away from viability and past the point at which most women have had an abortion.

However, the Arnolds have set up a website, http://www.birthornot.com because they aren’t sure whether they want to become parents — despite the fact that that journey has already started for them.

To “make a difference in the real world,” the couple has set up a poll on their website to allow the public to make the final decision for them.

They write: “The whole point here is to let people have a real way to voice your opinion on the topic of abortion and have it actually make a difference in the real world.  By voting on whether to continue or abort an actual pregnancy, you are doing so much more then simply telling an elected representative your feelings.  You are actually changing something in the real world.”

“We would like to keep you informed on our pregnancy as if it was your own; posting our thoughts and feelings as we struggle to make this decision.  We would like you to see what we see and feel what we feel.  We invite you take this journey with us as we contemplate our own options and encourage you to utilize this site to vote and voice your opinion in a way that will have a real consequence… in a way that truly matters.  Here, your vote will not go unheard,” they continue.

“For the first time in history, your vote on the topic of abortion will not go unheard.  We meant that,” they said.

Currently, more than 5,500 people have voted in the poll — with 62.47 percent urging the couple to give birth to their baby and 37.53 telling them to destroy the child’s life in an abortion.

That’s a departure from the earlier vote which tilted towards the abortion before the story moved through pro-life circles on the Internet overnight.

“December 9th is the last day we could legally get an abortion in our state. This vote will remain open until two days prior to allow for the procedure if decided,” the couple say.

The potential reason for the abortion centers on Alisha’s confessed feeling’s of selfishness.

“I’m not convinced that I want to change the status quo. I feel that as I age I’ve actually gotten more selfish and set in my ways,” she writes. “I’m afraid that I will eventually regret starting a family and “settling down”, as they say.”

The Arnolds have had two recent pregnancies end in miscarriage, and an unplanned pregnancy ended when Alisha was 20 and using the birth control pill.

The couple’s first planned pregnancy ended in miscarriage in January at 16 weeks and the second planned pregnancy ended in miscarriage in April at five weeks.

Ironically, while most couple celebrate the expectation of a new baby by posting ultrasound pictures on their web site, the Arnolds have posted theirs but apparently have been unaffected by the visual proof of the life of their child.

The baby is developing nicely and, should the couple forgo the abortion, would be born on April 28.

‘At Alisha’s 15 week ultrasound appointment she was told that the baby’s development was right on target for her due date,” the couple write. “She’s still on modified bedrest and working from home until she reaches the viability point in her pregnancy; around 19 or 20 weeks.”

Have you had time to digest all of that, yet? I’ve read and re-read this article ten times in the last couple of hours today, and each time I read it, I feel a different emotion, and I perceive the intent of this couple in a slightly different way.  The first time that I read it, I was angry, feeling like this was some sort of terrible ploy for media attention and probably money to support their soon to be delivered child.  Yuck.  Is this world that we live in so fame-obsessed that a couple would actually pull such a move that would cause such pain and embarrassment to this child later on to find out they did such a thing? And for Alisha to admit that she’s very selfish and is unsure of being a mother? I understand the unassuredness…all of us as new parents have been there.  But to be so selfish as to think that you could now end your child’s life because you’re just not sure you’re ready to parent or ready for your life to change?!

The second time that I read the article, however, I no longer felt anger towards Pete and Alisha for this very strange situation that they’ve created, but intense sorrow for them.  To read about the miscarriages that they experienced in their “planned” pregnancies, my heart just goes out to them.  And whether they are conscious of it or not, I truly believe that experiencing those miscarriages has impacted their ability to truly embrace this pregnancy and their beautiful unborn child.  How afraid they must be of bonding with their child, only to lose one yet again.

My heart and my head as the jury is still out on this one.  Obviously, I want these two parents to choose life for their child, and in my heart, I believe that’s what they’re going to do.  I’m still not sure about what exactly Pete and Alisha’s motive is for creating this website, or how they truly feel about their pregnancy, but what I do know is this:  the more situations like this come to light in this world, the more people talk openly and honestly about abortion and how it ends the lives of children like me and devastates the lives of people like my own biological parents, the more progress there is being made in protecting and respecting lives like mine…..no matter how questionable or weird the circumstances are (just don’t ask me to read a book or watch a reality tv show that comes out as a result of it).

Here’s my story about the given name-aborted child, that I struggled with for many years of my life, and my true name, my secret name from God-wonderfully made, that set me free from my pain and allowed me to be transformed into the person that I am today.

If you haven’t read Kary’s book, Your Secret Name-Discovering Who God Created You To Be, I strongly encourage you to! Visit his website for more information.

November 11, 2o1o. Kary Oberbrunner’s website, Igniting Souls, (http://www.karyoberbrunner.com).

I was aborted by a saline infusion abortion in 1977.

However, that attempt failed at ending my life, and instead of being born dead, I was born alive on the 5th day of the abortion procedure (yes, this is an absolutely true story…feel free to visit my website to see pieces of my medical records).

Although I was initially left for dead, the nurses and doctors quickly realized that I was alive, and they provided me with the medical care needed to sustain my life.  Although I struggled with respiratory distress, seizures, jaundice, and required multiple blood transfusions and feeding through an intravenous line in my head, I was wanted.

My adoptive parents opened their hearts and their home to me, knowing full well that they were taking a chance on adopting a little girl who would probably not live for very long, and if I did survive, would more than likely be disabled.  Knowing this did not deter them.  They loved me, unconditionally, and it was their love, and the love of the doctors annd nurses who cared for me that helped me to not only survive after that failed abortion attempt, but thrive.

Aborted babies ‘being left to die’

The Age

BABIES that are surviving late-term abortions at Melbourne’s Royal Women’s Hospital might be being left on shelves to die, according to an Anglican minister.

Dr Mark Durie, minister of St Mary’s Caulfield, said staff were finding it hard to cope with a reported six-fold increase in late-term abortions at the Women’s since abortion was decriminalised in Victoria two years ago. He said because conscientious objection by medical staff was now illegal, the hospital could employ only people who endorsed late-term abortions.

Dr Durie is bringing a motion about late-term abortion to the annual Anglican synod, which opened in Melbourne last night.

He calls on the state government to answer five questions about late-term abortions:

■ How many are happening, and how late?

■ What are the reasons for the abortions?

■ Are those born alive receiving medical care, or what is their cause of death?

■ What has been the effect on staff morale at the Royal Women’s Hospital?

■ What has been the effect on staff recruitment?

He said in one case – not at the Women’s – a trainee was deeply traumatised when she was told to drop a living foetus in a bucket of formaldehyde.

Dr Durie said even in 2007, 52 babies survived late-term abortions, according to government figures. In some clinics they had simply been put on a shelf and left to die, and the public deserved to know what was happening now.

He said no figures had been officially released since abortion was decriminalised.

”Because of the deep ethical conflict involved, there will be pressure to suppress the reality of what is going on,” he said.

”I’m deeply concerned for the traumatising effect it has on doctors and nurses.”

Dr Durie said most people became midwives because they loved seeing children born. ”I find it hard to comprehend that staff can go from working to rescue a 27-week-old foetus in one hour, and the next hour delivering another one dead.”

The Anglican diocese of Melbourne backed decriminalising abortion in its submission to the Victorian Law Reform Commission review in 2007. Archdeacon Alison Taylor told The Age at the time that in some circumstances, such as foetal abnormality, abortion was the ”the least problematic solution”.

Health Department spokesman Bram Alexander said it was the job of the Consultative Council on Obstetric and Paediatric Mortality and Morbidity to monitor trends and data, and its 2008 report would be released before the end of 2010.

”There’s no sense that the material is being suppressed,” he said.

A spokeswoman for the Royal Women’s Hospital said she would not comment, except to say that no staff were ever required to perform or assist in any procedure contrary to their own conscience or beliefs.

Meanwhile, Melbourne Archbishop Philip Freier told the synod last night that the Anglican church had to become more multicultural.

After a year of intensive consultation, he unveiled a vision for the diocese based on seeing its 210 parishes not as churches or congregations but a geographic mission field.

”We need to be aware of the entirety of our parish, the diversity of its people, the industry and commerce which takes place within it, and the collaborators who might work with us in evangelism and compassionate service,” he said.