Abortion attempt survivor. Voice for the voiceless.

I don’t always have time to write about all of the events that I speak at, but they are always memorable for one reason or another. And although my speaking at St. Joseph’s parish in Anthon, Iowa, on October 22nd, seemed on first glance to be just another small event on my part (less than 50 present), it was certainly a mighty one.

I was very blessed to have my husband, daughter, mother and Aunt Nadine, present, along with a number of my mother and aunt’s friends and acquaintances, which always makes an event eventful to me! There were a number of CCD students present, along with their parents, which I always enjoy, also.

I learned long ago, never to take for granted that the audience members where I speak, even in a church or parish, are pro-life, and so I started off my time with them by letting them know that I wasn’t there to convince them to be pro-life or shame or blame anyone for their personal beliefs or for having had an abortion or encouraging or supporting a woman in having one. Just like I always do, I encouraged them to simply keep an open heart and mind as I shared my testimony with them.

Having my family present when I speak always makes me emotional, and having a shrieking toddler wanting her mommy that night kept me grounded and my time with them pretty light, but I think that all of the little idiosyncrasies made the evening a down to earth meeting and an up close and personal look at the reality of abortion on our lives.

I met a number of wonderful people in Anthon that night, including a young lady who shared with me that she had two other siblings who had passed away from parental neglect, and could therefore relate to me about what it was like to be a survivor and be grateful for life. As if that wasn’t enough, I later found out from my mother that one of the adult women present that night was pro-choice, and came to the event out of her own curiosity to hear me speak. The day after the event at St. Joseph’s, this woman shared with her closest friends that although she came to the parish that evening pro-choice, she experienced a conversion that evening when hearing me speak, and now was pro-life!

Beautiful, isn’t it, that this woman kept an open heart and mind and let my story resonate in her soul?! It is moments like this, impacts like this, that I don’t always hear about when I share my story around the world. I am certainly grateful that this woman experienced a conversion of the heart and mind, and even more so that she was willing to share this conversion with others, so that they, too, could be impacted by it. Getting the opportunity to hear about it, myself….well, that’s just icing on the cake.

Where, oh where has the last month gone?! I was so blessed in October to speak at a number of events locally and across the nation, and I have been fully planning to write about them but the month of October certainly got away from me, and here it is November 12th already. Better late than never, I guess!

The month of October started out with speaking at a local parish in Moville, Iowa, at the Immaculate Conception. Although the number of attendees compared to national events was small (less than 50), it was still a joy to meet with all of the parishioners present, share my testimony of God’s grace, the true reality of abortion, and the power of love, hope, and forgiveness with all of them. And as always, I was humbled by the compassion of the parishioners and was moved by their own personal stories about how abortion and adoption had touched their lives.

One young woman, in particular, holds a special place in my heart who was in attendance. Although she had not been impacted yet by abortion in her life, she had been impacted by adoption. As a pre-teen, this beautiful, bright young lady had been removed from the custody of her biological mother due to her mother’s neglect and abuse of her and her siblings. She has since remained in foster care for a number of years, and although her mother’s parental rights were not terminated to her, due to her age and relationship with her mother, she will remain in foster care until she reaches adulthood.

What struck me about this young lady was that although our experiences as foster/adoptive children were certainly quite different, we could still relate to one another in terms of being children that are often viewed as unwanted or unloved. And just like me, she was not unloved or unwanted and has been in the same amazing foster home for many years now, where she plans to remain until she ages out of the foster care system. Just like I had found a wonderful adoptive home, she had found a wonderful foster home that isn’t just a foster home to her. It is her home, her family.

On Sunday, October 11th, I hit the skies for the first time in almost a year, heading out to Washington D.C. for the International Week of Prayer and Fasting. Not only was I blessed with this amazing opportunity to give my testimony about the power of prayer and the impact of abortion with the attendees of the event, but so, too, was I blessed to have my adoptive mother, Linda, one of my aunts, Gladys, and my daughter, Olivia traveling with me. Traveling with a toddler definitely poses its own unique struggles, but it was well worth it to have my dearest Olivia with me on this trip!

That evening, my mother and I attended the fundraising dinner for the International Week of Prayer and Fasting at the Omni Shoreham Hotel (while Aunt Gladys so kindly cared for Olivia upstairs in our hotel room). It was a grand affair, and held many of the “who’s who” of the Catholic faith and Pro-Life movement. At our table alone sat Maureen Flynn, founder of the International Week of Prayer and Fasting, Father Machado from Rome, Former Senator Rick Santorium, and Jennifer O’Neill, among others. Both Mr. Santorium and Ms. O’Neill received two of the pro-life awards given out, and Mr. Santorium later went on to give the keynote speech for the evening.

Prior to Mr. Santorium’s eloquent and inspirational keynote, however, I was able to “take the podium” and share my testimony of surviving a failed abortion attempt and the story and glory of the Lord’s hand in my life with the audience. I am always humbled by the response of individuals and groups everywhere I go, but by far, the gracious response of this audience full of the venerable “who’s-who” meant the world to me. To have a group of individuals, who themselves are leaders and visionaries in the Catholic faith and pro-life movement give me a standing ovation was a surreal moment to me. As if that wasn’t enough, I was doubly blessed to have my own mother there, tears in her eyes as she listened to me speak and saw the compassion of the audience in return to the telling of not just my story, but her story, too.

I was honored to meet so many wonderful people that night, and had a moving conversation with Randall Terry in the outside courtyard, but by far, I was most moved by meeting a father and daughter that evening who were in attendance. We had a lengthy discussion about the difficulty of being a pro-life student on a college campus that was not very supportive of the cause for life, and the struggles that all of us as pro-lifers often have in facing a predominant culture, at least in terms of mainstream media, that is pro-choice. Although I heard many moving stories that evening about how abortion and adoption had affected people’s lives, there was just something special about having this father and daughter present, two generations that have been impacted by abortion, yet two generations that stood strong in their faith and commitment to the unborn that really touched my heart that night. Maybe it was the fact that we shared a warm group hug with one another as we ended the evening that got me (it certainly didn’t hurt)!

After a good night’s sleep (as good of a night’s sleep as you get with a toddler taking up half your bed), we headed out the next morning to the Basilica of the Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. If you haven’t been there, I would highly recommend it. It is truly a sight to behold, both inside and out. I had been looking forward to speaking at the Prayer Service for so long, and it certainly lived up to my hopes and expectations. With attendees and speakers from around the globe, it was the most diverse group that I had yet had the opportunity to speak to. I had the wonderful chance to watch and listen as the African nations shared the Divine Mysteries with the audience immediately prior to my speech. As they spoke in both their native tongue and in English, I was struck by just how blessed I have been in my life to participate in events like this.

My speech went off without a hitch (except for when I went to have my mother bring Olivia to the stage so that I could introduce her to the crowd and she was sleeping in her stroller ), and although the chapel that I was speaking in was HUGE, I could see from the stage that they got my message loud and clear, tears streaming down many faces, they were moved by my testimony of the power of prayer, God’s grace and sovereignty over suffering, and the impact of abortion in my life and in our world.

As I left the stage after speaking, I was met with a host of individuals from around the world, including Greece, Poland, China, and Ghana, who greeted me warmly, hugged me, and requested to have their photo taken with Olivia and myself and information about me so that they could continue to pray for me. Words can not express how much such a warm reception meant to me and to my mother and aunt, for that matter.

I later had the opportunity to listen to Jennifer O’Neill provide her personal testimony about having an abortion, suffering miscarriages and many other painful experiences in her life, and ultimately her salvation in finding the Lord. I feel very honored to have been in the presence of a woman who has had so much yet is at the same time very humble, indeed. After lunching with Jennifer and other speakers for the day, I had the blessed chance to meet Father Frank Pavone briefly before he took the stage for his speech.

Although we didn’t have long to speak, I feel honored to have been in his presence, and pray that we get the chance to speak with one another again soon about how we can work together to share our ministries about the true reality of abortion with the world. After my brief encounter with Father Pavone, I excitedly got to listen to him speak in person, for the first time. And although I always enjoy listening to him on the radio and watching him on EWTN, his presence in person is astounding. I would have loved the opportunity to meet with him more after his speech, but Miss Olivia made it clear that her little toddler self had just about reached the end of her rope for the day and we headed back to our hotel for the afternoon and headed back to Iowa the next day.

Even though I like to think that I am rather eloquent with both the written and spoken word, I don’t think that I can truly express to all of you what a blessed time we had in Washington for the International Week of Prayer and Fasting…..it was a chance of a lifetime, and I hope and pray that I have the opportunity to cross paths with the wonderful folks that I met there again someday, and likewise, I hope and pray that there are many more events like this to come.

Included here are a couple of pictures from the event:

Lunch with Jennifer O'Neill (in picture), Colleen Flynn, Mom, Olivia, Aunt Gladys, among others

I was blessed with the opportunity to have a busy week last week (hence why I’m just getting to this now)! On Tuesday, November 2nd, I participated in a radio interview with Indiana Right to Life, which was aired on the local Catholic radio station in the Evansville area.

Then, on Thursday, November 5th, my adoptive mother, Linda, and my daughter, Olivia, flew with me to Evansville, Indiana, where I spoke at a private donor event for Indiana Right to Life and specifically, Vanderburgh County Right to Life.

Over 90 attendees were present, which was the highest attendance record yet! My mother, Olivia, and I had the wonderful opportunity to bear witness to the glory of God, the true reality of abortion, and the full impact that abortion has on individuals and families across generations. It was truly our honor to meet the wonderful people of Vanderburgh Right to Life and Indiana Right to Life–they were a very attentive and responsive crowd, and were many of the great who’s-who of life movement individuals in Indiana–it was very humbling and an honor to meet them. If you have not checked out the website yet for teensforlife.com, I would certainly encourage you to. Teens for Life is a wonderful social networking site for teens, and Indiana is, in my opinion, one of the most progressive states in the life movement. The attendees of the event were compassionate, Mike Fichter of Indiana Right to Life was kind enough to give me a copy of his new book, Viability, which I have enjoyed reading immensely.

After a few hours of sleep (I was still running on the energy of speaking at the donor event and excited but nervously looking forward to the next morning), I had the blessed opportunity to participate in an interview with Gus Lloyd, who is the host of the radio show Seize the Day on the Catholic Channel (XM channel 131 , Sirius channel 160). I plan to post a copy of this interview later, after I’ve received a copy. Not to be biased (since I am writing about myself), I thought that the interview went very well, (even though I was giving the interview while standing outside of the hotel in Evansville, freezing my rear-end off); it was probably the best interview that I’ve done yet. Of course, it certainly helps having an expert host such as Mr. Lloyd conducting it!

I ran from the interview and hopped into the car of one of Vanderburgh County Right to Life’s staff, who was kind enough to take us to the airport before heading to work for the day, herself. Gratefully, our travels were non-eventful (sans a meltdown by Olivia on the flight from Chicago to El Paso), and we arrived in beautiful, sunny El Paso in the afternoon. Unfortunately, Olivia was overly tired and too excited to take a nap in the afternoon and fell asleep at 5:50 PM. She desperately needed her sleep, so instead of both Mom and Olivia going to the House of Hope Car Raffle with me, they both stayed back at the hotel. I appreciate my mom’s willingness to stay back with her, but sure wish that they both could have come to the dinner and raffle.

It was an honor on my part to provide the keynote speech for House of Hope’s raffle and silent auction. I had met the director of the pregnancy resource center, Angelica Talavera, back in 2007, when we both started speaking for Feminists for Life, and we last saw each other back in January of 2008, when we spoke at the Students for Life Conference in D.C. Oh how our lives have changed since then! Angelica is now married, we both now have children, we have both grown and matured personally, professionally and in our faith.

Knowing that many individuals who are pro-choice attend the event, since it really is a fantastic chance to win a car or a trip for little cost, I supported and encouraged the audience to have an open heart and mind to my story, emphasized the true reality of abortion in our lives, the pain and grief and suffering that it causes, encouraged them to use their God-given strengths and talents to improve their community for women, children and all family members, and reminded them that they were all just one step away from being just like me-the only difference is that their mother chose choice (among the other high points I hit in my testimony).

I was very pleased with the reception of the audience, and was once again surprised by the stories that others had to tell about abortion and adoption. One man in particular shared with me how much he was moved by my story, as he had gotten a woman pregnant in college, and in his own words, gratefully, she chose life for her child, which is something that he can’t say that he would have done at the time. He would have supported her in having an abortion. He is now blessed to have finally met his daughter now that she is an adult, and I could just tell by looking at him, that although my story brought up some painful pieces of his past, the Lord certainly intended for him to be there to hear my story and reflect on his own life.

I had a wonderful time at the rest of the raffle and auction that evening (I had never seen a raffle done like that before, so I was easily entertained by the process)! We were fortunate enough to have all day Saturday to relax in El Paso and spend time with my friend Angie and her family. We flew back home on Sunday the 8th, and although it was good to be home, we truly enjoyed our busy days and nights in Indiana and Texas!

ROANOKE RAPIDS-Hundreds of people celebrated “A person is a person, no matter how small” Thursday night at the Pregnancy Support Center’s annual fundraising banquet. The words made famous by Dr. Seuss in Horton “Hears a Who” stressed the importance of honoring life to everyone at the Kirkwood Adams Community Center.

People brought gifts for mothers and babies. They lined the stage from one end to the other. Diapers, car seats, blankets, bottles, all the things a little one needs when they first come into this world. Mothers-to-be go to classes and earn vouchers allowing them to buy baby items in the “Baby Boutique” at the Center. “They have to earn these things,” said Executive Director Jennifer Marchant. “We don’t give them hand outs.”

Listening to the conversations from table to table, it was amazing to find out how many people were talking about their children. There were people from all walks of life — business, politics, homemakers and the church community. Each one expressed pride. There was a lot of laughter and understanding nods.

Keynote speaker Melissa Ohden came to share her story of how her daughter almost wasn’t born, not because of anything she did, but because Ohden’s mother opted for an abortion when she was pregnant. “There are some of you who will be hurt by my story,” she said, then apologized.

She shared her mother thought she was only about 22 weeks pregnant when she decided to have an abortion. She was in college. Doctors performed a saline injection abortion, but she was nearly 28 weeks pregnant. The abortion failed.

Ohden shared after quite some time, she was delivered. Doctors thought she was dead, but after a few moments she stirred and made noise. They were sure she would be handicapped, if she survived. “I was so fortunate,” she said through tears. She said her parents adopted her when she was only a few months old. “I’m so grateful to my parents for taking a chance on me,” she said.

Ohden was a teen before she discovered she was the survivor of a failed abortion. “I felt ashamed, embarrassed and guilty,” she said. But Ohden went on to live a full life, found her biologic parents, and met her grandfather. While holding her newborn daughter, Olivia, she said waves of anger filled her, then soon subsided into sadness when she realize her beautiful child almost wasn’t born because her mother tried to end her pregnancy. “It’s one thing to say I don’t have a right to live, but no one has the right to say she doesn’t have that right.” Ohden’s teeth were clinched as she recalled the pain, but recovering, she spoke highly of her daughter and the amazing person she is.

She said many people ask her how it is she survived such an experience with no scars or brain damage, “I can give them the obvious answer,” she said, then rolled her eyes and smiled. “God.”

Also at the banquet, there were testimonies given about the good work the Pregnancy Support Center. Marchant explained, “We support young mothers and inform them about their options. They make their own decisions about what they’re going to do. Some keep their baby, some adopt, some have abortions. If they have an abortion we offer support then, too.” Marchant went on to say the Center will not fund abortions, but they do provide post abortion counseling to women and men. She said she was particularly interested in this program because she had an abortion at age 17. She said she still carries the hurt and regret. “I would give anything for just one moment with my daughter,” she said.

Marchant said the Center supported more than 1,200 mothers last year and the numbers are even stronger this year. When asked how many more people the Center could serve, Marchant said excitedly, “As many as can come through the door!”

She shared the Center is a place for joy and good news.

In looking over the Center’s budget, it was obvious there were no grant funds, no federal or state money. There were only two fundraisers and private donations. “We are a nonprofit 501 (c)(3),” she said. “But if we take federal or state dollars, we cannot tell these girls the good news about Christ.” Marchant explained the government looks at them more as a church, so funding is hard to come by. “We did get an abstinence grant to go into the schools, because we don’t talk about Christ in the school programs,” she said. “It is our joy to be your hands extended,” she said. “We will meet their needs as God meets ours.”

A Walk for Life fundraiser will be held in the spring. For more information about the Pregnancy Support Center, 111 W. 10th Street, contact Marchant at 519-HELP or log on to mypregnancyoptions.org.

Requiem for the Disappeared

I finally had the opportunity Friday night to view Citizens for a Pro-Life Society’s Requiem for the Disappeared.  I must admit that I was even more moved and impressed by the video than I had thought that I would be.  I had first listened to Dr. Monica Migliorino Miller on Teresa Tomeo’s Catholic Connection earlier that day, and was overcome with emotions as they discussed the video, the discardment of the aborted babies outside the Hodari clinic, the need for these children to be acknowledged for who they are, who they could have become, their need to be seen and heard.  Just as I had been so moved during the commentary on the radio show that morning, so, too, was I moved while watching the video on You Tube later that evening.

In the 15 plus years that I have known about the abortion attempt meant to take my life, I have worked very hard to heal from the pain of the abortion attempt, of the disregard for my life, the impact that my biological mother’s decision has had on my life and all of those connected to me.  Yet every so often, something brings me to my knees, something touches me deep within my soul and reminds me of the scars that remain.  Watching Requiem for the Disappeared stirred up thoughts and feelings that I had not experienced for a long time.

As horrific as the finding of the aborted children’s bodies outside the Hodari clinic is, I found Citizens for a Pro-Life Society’s coverage of this discovery and the subsequent funeral rights provided to these babies to be very tastefully and lovingly done.  As a fellow survivor of an abortion attempt, I felt a strong connection to these babies who were left discarded as trash.  That was meant to be my fate (at least in the abortionist and my mother’s plans) that summer day in 1977.  However, unlike these children, I was blessed with God’s salvation and the loving care of hospital staff who provided me with the medical care that I needed to live.

I, myself, visit a  local Tomb of the Unborn Child often, many times taking Olivia with me, and I am understandably moved to tears and conflicting emotions of gratitude yet unsufferable pain each and every time I visit.  I would liken my experience visiting the Unborn Child’s Tomb to any other suvivor of a tragic event visiting the site of it.  There is something very surreal about viewing the tomb, knowing that that could have been you, should have been you, just like visiting the site of a tragedy that you were blessed to escape .  Of course, the difference between my experience and that of a survivor of any other tragic event is that such other survivors are viewed very differently in our society.  They are given a voice, their grief and sorrows are acknowledged and supported.  In stark contract, as the survivor of an abortion attempt, I have been silenced for many years by society’s prevailing views on abortion, by others perceptions of me and the millions of other children whose lives have been ended by abortion.  In my experience, it is far too easy for many in the world to dismiss children such as myself and those discovered outside of the Hodari clinic.  More often than not, we are seen as unwanted and without a voice, without a name, we are silenced and easily disappear from public view.

Like the beautiful music that Requiem for the Disappeared so eloquently echoes, I, too, spent many years of my life questioning whether anyone heard me, whether anyone truly sees me for who I am, whether anyone at the time of the abortion attempt really knew who I was and who I would aspire to be. I spent many years of my
life searching for someone to tell me who I was, to tell me that they recognized me.  Although I have been blessed to meet some members of my biological family in recent years, those very people who could help explain to me who I was and where I came from, I learned through my search and reunion with them that I am who I am regardless of my relation to them.  Through my search, I was reminded of something that I had known all along, that God always knew me, and I will always know who I am in relation to Him.   God will always recognize me and he has helped me to discover who I am.

I am so very grateful to be alive, to be able to lend a voice to the millions of children’s lives who have been ended by abortion.  To the aborted children found outside of the Hodari clinic, I commit myself to continuing to lend a voice to you, just as Citizens for a Pro-Life Society did in Requiem for the Disappeared. I will continue to acknowledge you for who you are, who you could have become, and challenge the public to acknowledge all of us, survivors of abortion and lives lost to abortion.  I will not simply disappear like the abortionist and my biological mother intended for me to.  I will continue to survive and thrive.Requiem for the Disappeared on YouTube