Abortion attempt survivor. Voice for the voiceless.

ROANOKE RAPIDS-Hundreds of people celebrated “A person is a person, no matter how small” Thursday night at the Pregnancy Support Center’s annual fundraising banquet. The words made famous by Dr. Seuss in Horton “Hears a Who” stressed the importance of honoring life to everyone at the Kirkwood Adams Community Center.

People brought gifts for mothers and babies. They lined the stage from one end to the other. Diapers, car seats, blankets, bottles, all the things a little one needs when they first come into this world. Mothers-to-be go to classes and earn vouchers allowing them to buy baby items in the “Baby Boutique” at the Center. “They have to earn these things,” said Executive Director Jennifer Marchant. “We don’t give them hand outs.”

Listening to the conversations from table to table, it was amazing to find out how many people were talking about their children. There were people from all walks of life — business, politics, homemakers and the church community. Each one expressed pride. There was a lot of laughter and understanding nods.

Keynote speaker Melissa Ohden came to share her story of how her daughter almost wasn’t born, not because of anything she did, but because Ohden’s mother opted for an abortion when she was pregnant. “There are some of you who will be hurt by my story,” she said, then apologized.

She shared her mother thought she was only about 22 weeks pregnant when she decided to have an abortion. She was in college. Doctors performed a saline injection abortion, but she was nearly 28 weeks pregnant. The abortion failed.

Ohden shared after quite some time, she was delivered. Doctors thought she was dead, but after a few moments she stirred and made noise. They were sure she would be handicapped, if she survived. “I was so fortunate,” she said through tears. She said her parents adopted her when she was only a few months old. “I’m so grateful to my parents for taking a chance on me,” she said.

Ohden was a teen before she discovered she was the survivor of a failed abortion. “I felt ashamed, embarrassed and guilty,” she said. But Ohden went on to live a full life, found her biologic parents, and met her grandfather. While holding her newborn daughter, Olivia, she said waves of anger filled her, then soon subsided into sadness when she realize her beautiful child almost wasn’t born because her mother tried to end her pregnancy. “It’s one thing to say I don’t have a right to live, but no one has the right to say she doesn’t have that right.” Ohden’s teeth were clinched as she recalled the pain, but recovering, she spoke highly of her daughter and the amazing person she is.

She said many people ask her how it is she survived such an experience with no scars or brain damage, “I can give them the obvious answer,” she said, then rolled her eyes and smiled. “God.”

Also at the banquet, there were testimonies given about the good work the Pregnancy Support Center. Marchant explained, “We support young mothers and inform them about their options. They make their own decisions about what they’re going to do. Some keep their baby, some adopt, some have abortions. If they have an abortion we offer support then, too.” Marchant went on to say the Center will not fund abortions, but they do provide post abortion counseling to women and men. She said she was particularly interested in this program because she had an abortion at age 17. She said she still carries the hurt and regret. “I would give anything for just one moment with my daughter,” she said.

Marchant said the Center supported more than 1,200 mothers last year and the numbers are even stronger this year. When asked how many more people the Center could serve, Marchant said excitedly, “As many as can come through the door!”

She shared the Center is a place for joy and good news.

In looking over the Center’s budget, it was obvious there were no grant funds, no federal or state money. There were only two fundraisers and private donations. “We are a nonprofit 501 (c)(3),” she said. “But if we take federal or state dollars, we cannot tell these girls the good news about Christ.” Marchant explained the government looks at them more as a church, so funding is hard to come by. “We did get an abstinence grant to go into the schools, because we don’t talk about Christ in the school programs,” she said. “It is our joy to be your hands extended,” she said. “We will meet their needs as God meets ours.”

A Walk for Life fundraiser will be held in the spring. For more information about the Pregnancy Support Center, 111 W. 10th Street, contact Marchant at 519-HELP or log on to mypregnancyoptions.org.

Requiem for the Disappeared

I finally had the opportunity Friday night to view Citizens for a Pro-Life Society’s Requiem for the Disappeared.  I must admit that I was even more moved and impressed by the video than I had thought that I would be.  I had first listened to Dr. Monica Migliorino Miller on Teresa Tomeo’s Catholic Connection earlier that day, and was overcome with emotions as they discussed the video, the discardment of the aborted babies outside the Hodari clinic, the need for these children to be acknowledged for who they are, who they could have become, their need to be seen and heard.  Just as I had been so moved during the commentary on the radio show that morning, so, too, was I moved while watching the video on You Tube later that evening.

In the 15 plus years that I have known about the abortion attempt meant to take my life, I have worked very hard to heal from the pain of the abortion attempt, of the disregard for my life, the impact that my biological mother’s decision has had on my life and all of those connected to me.  Yet every so often, something brings me to my knees, something touches me deep within my soul and reminds me of the scars that remain.  Watching Requiem for the Disappeared stirred up thoughts and feelings that I had not experienced for a long time.

As horrific as the finding of the aborted children’s bodies outside the Hodari clinic is, I found Citizens for a Pro-Life Society’s coverage of this discovery and the subsequent funeral rights provided to these babies to be very tastefully and lovingly done.  As a fellow survivor of an abortion attempt, I felt a strong connection to these babies who were left discarded as trash.  That was meant to be my fate (at least in the abortionist and my mother’s plans) that summer day in 1977.  However, unlike these children, I was blessed with God’s salvation and the loving care of hospital staff who provided me with the medical care that I needed to live.

I, myself, visit a  local Tomb of the Unborn Child often, many times taking Olivia with me, and I am understandably moved to tears and conflicting emotions of gratitude yet unsufferable pain each and every time I visit.  I would liken my experience visiting the Unborn Child’s Tomb to any other suvivor of a tragic event visiting the site of it.  There is something very surreal about viewing the tomb, knowing that that could have been you, should have been you, just like visiting the site of a tragedy that you were blessed to escape .  Of course, the difference between my experience and that of a survivor of any other tragic event is that such other survivors are viewed very differently in our society.  They are given a voice, their grief and sorrows are acknowledged and supported.  In stark contract, as the survivor of an abortion attempt, I have been silenced for many years by society’s prevailing views on abortion, by others perceptions of me and the millions of other children whose lives have been ended by abortion.  In my experience, it is far too easy for many in the world to dismiss children such as myself and those discovered outside of the Hodari clinic.  More often than not, we are seen as unwanted and without a voice, without a name, we are silenced and easily disappear from public view.

Like the beautiful music that Requiem for the Disappeared so eloquently echoes, I, too, spent many years of my life questioning whether anyone heard me, whether anyone truly sees me for who I am, whether anyone at the time of the abortion attempt really knew who I was and who I would aspire to be. I spent many years of my
life searching for someone to tell me who I was, to tell me that they recognized me.  Although I have been blessed to meet some members of my biological family in recent years, those very people who could help explain to me who I was and where I came from, I learned through my search and reunion with them that I am who I am regardless of my relation to them.  Through my search, I was reminded of something that I had known all along, that God always knew me, and I will always know who I am in relation to Him.   God will always recognize me and he has helped me to discover who I am.

I am so very grateful to be alive, to be able to lend a voice to the millions of children’s lives who have been ended by abortion.  To the aborted children found outside of the Hodari clinic, I commit myself to continuing to lend a voice to you, just as Citizens for a Pro-Life Society did in Requiem for the Disappeared. I will continue to acknowledge you for who you are, who you could have become, and challenge the public to acknowledge all of us, survivors of abortion and lives lost to abortion.  I will not simply disappear like the abortionist and my biological mother intended for me to.  I will continue to survive and thrive.Requiem for the Disappeared on YouTube

I read in the Sioux City Journal that a Federal judge will hear oral arguments on July 17th regarding a lawsuit challenging a South Dakota law that requires doctors to tell women seeking abortions that the procedure will end a human life.

Planned Parenthood, which operates the state’s only abortion clinic, appealed the law after it was passed in 2005. U.S. District Judge Karen Schreier temporarily prevented the law from going into effect, but the 8th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in July 2008 overruled that order, and the state began enforcing the law. According to the AP/Journal, Schreier will decide during the hearing whether to grant motions for summary judgment and will consider Planned Parenthood’s request to stop the state from imposing sanctions over the law’s requirements.

Although I certainly understand that there are numerous issues wrapped up into this lawsuit, that are inherent in the abortion debate in general; the government’s role in relation to abortion, a woman’s right to choose, and a doctor’s role in performing an abortion, among the many others, most important in my mind is the concept of telling a woman that she is ENDING A HUMAN LIFE.

As the survivor of an unsuccessful abortion attempt, I must be honest in saying that I find it demeaning and disrespectful to me, the other survivors of abortion, and the 3,700 children killed each day in the U.S. alone by abortion, that so many in our culture still want to argue that we are either a) not a human life as an unborn child, or b) that it disempowers or attempts to control or manipulate women by telling them that.

I am well aware that many women are in compromising positions when they seek abortions; many are coerced by their partner, friend, or family into doing it; many feel like they aren’t ready to parent or can’t parent for some reason; many feel like there are no other real choices or resources available to them. Despite the issues that women are facing that drives them to seek an abortion, I don’t believe that it does women any justice to avoid being honest with them about the “procedure” that they are undertaking. Some argue that such laws as this South Dakota law solely seek to reduce abortions by telling women something that they already know, thereby manipulating them into having to listen to something that they shouldn’t—that they will be ending the life of their unborn child.

Although I believe that individuals and groups on either side of the abortion debate can sometimes do more harm than good, and can skew data and laws to support their stance, I believe that honesty with women about the procedure they will be undergoing and its effects on them and their unborn child IS the right thing to do. For any other medical procedure, it appears that we, as a culture of individuals, expect our medical professionals to tell us about the procedure, its’ effects on us, what our recovery will be like, etc. Why wouldn’t we expect the same from the professionals providing abortions? I certainly did not find it demeaning when my daughter’s doctors told us all about the MRSA that she was hospitalized with a couple weeks ago and all of the things that we needed to know about her recovery and how we would need to deal with this the rest of her life, day after day.  In all reality, I appreciated that they were honest with us, and that they took the time to truly talk with us one on one.

I just can’t imagine what it must have been like for my biological mother and for the other women like her who have sought abortions as they underwent the procedure.  I know that some women report feeling relieved by ending their pregnancy, but that feeling pales in comparison the pain, grief, anger, sadness that they experience.  I would only hope that the doctor working with them would be honest with them about what they are undertaking, what it’s effects on them will be physically, emotionally, spiritually.

We can argue all we want about the role of the government in creating and enforcing laws around abortion; we can argue all we want about the doctor’s role in performing an abortion, but in my opinion, stating to women that they are ending a human life is part of that discussion.  In my opinion, and from what I’ve experienced in my work, the underlying reason people have a problem with legislating that doctors tell a woman that abortion ends a life, or that they show a picture of an ultrasound, is that such practices bring to light the REALITY of abortion, to the women that are seeking them and to the rest of society.

I don’t believe that anyone out there truly believes abortion is the right thing to do, that abortion is the solution to the problems that women face, but I do believe that as a society, we have become very good at avoiding those things that most make us uncomfortable.  It is that very avoidance that prevent us from being honest with women seeking abortions, and even ourselves, about what abortion truly is, what it does, and it’s life-long impacts.  It’s that very avoidance that keeps us from telling it like it is:  abortion ends a human life.

Abortion was meant to end my life.  Abortion ends a human life—3,400 each and every day in the U.S. alone.

With Independence Day fast approaching, I’ve been reflecting on the basic concepts of life and liberty a lot lately.  I want to first of all thank all of the men and women who have given of their time, their own freedoms, and even their lives to preserve the rights and freedoms of their fellow Americans.  Your sacrifices have been many and your commitment has been deep and true.  Thank you spefically to my father in law, Norm, uncle Fred, aunt Bev, cousins Jason and Bryce and our many friends who have been in the armed service.  Thank you for all you’ve done and continue to do!

In observance of Independence Day, I, like many other fellow Americans, can’t help but reflect on these concepts of life and liberty.  And although I believe we owe a debt of gratitude to our service members for their commitment and dedication to fighting for and preserving our freedoms, I can’t help but focus on the reality that if it wasn’t for the basic right to LIFE, there would be no freedoms, there would be no armed forces, there would be no Independence Day.

But by the grace of God I was saved from the certain death of abortion.  Without God’s salvation, I would not be here to celebrate Independence Day.  Much like many veterans seem to honor and appreciate days like the 4th of July and the underlying principles that make it important, more than the general public, I, too, as the survivor of an unsuccessful saline infusion abortion have a different perspective on life, rights, and freedoms than many.  It is very easy, in my opinion, for others to say that it should be a woman’s choice whether to end the life of her unborn child, but if it would have been THEIR mother who had made the choice to end their life, then what would they think? Just as those who have never experienced having their freedoms restricted or oppressed can oftentimes take these freedoms for granted, those who have never experienced the reality of “choice” can take that for granted, also.

In observance of Independence Day, I want to honor the 3,400 unborn children whose lives are ended EACH and EVERY DAY in the U.S. alone.  By God’s love, I was saved from a similar fate.  I do not take this reality lightly; I believe that it is my life’s work to not only share the story of my survival and God’s strength with others, but to also pay respect to and advocate for  the tens of millions of children who have died from abortion.  This 4th of July, I encourage you to join me in honoring the servicemen and women who have so selflessly worked to protect our freedoms, and at the same time, honor the unborn children who will never have the right to life, of liberty or the pursuit of happiness.

Once again, I apologize that I am not posting very frequently. Unfortunately, it has been a couple of very long weeks at our house. Our darling Olivia first had a terrible allergic reaction to strawberries last week (we had been trying, by trial and error, to take foods away to determine what was bothering her) and now we’ve been with her at St. Luke’s hospital since Tuesday night. What we thought was a reaction from the strawberry allergy actually turned out to be MRSA (Methicillin resistant Staphylococcus aureus)! Poor little thing….she had minor surgery to open the infection in her groin area, and now, two days later, she is showing some signs of improvement.   I have never been so scared and so worried in my life.

I have learned that MRSA is all too common these days, but most of all, through this experience, I have learned just how precious and fragile life is, and how easy it can be to take our loved ones for granted. I share this with all of you because, even though I have believed all this time that I have known this (each day is a gift), and that I’ve lived my life accordingly, having a critically ill child has given me an even sharper perspective on this. I have known all of these years that I am blessed to be alive, to have been able to go on from the abortion attempt and live a productive, healthy life, and most importantly, to be Olivia’s mother. However, seeing our poor daughter so sick, so helpless, and feeling so powerless over the situation, has helped me to recognize that I easily take things for granted each day, despite knowing each day is not a given, it’s a gift.

I prayed and prayed so much over these past few days for Olivia’s recovery, for a reprieve from the pain that she was experiencing, and I was humbled once again my God’s will and His power. I am so grateful that God has helped our Olivia in her recovery thus far, and I leave this experience with an even greater respect for God and for my family.   I can not imagine my life without my daughter, and I am committed to showing my gratitude for each and every moment that I have with her.