Abortion attempt survivor. Voice for the voiceless.

When considering the impact of abortion and the number of lives lost from it, it is often stated that our world has likely lost out on many important and influential individuals, doctors who could have found a cure for cancer, the next president of the U.S., so on and so forth. Not that I disagree with that statement, but when I think about the impact of abortion, particularly on my life and the lives of my family, I think about all of the things in life that I would have missed out on, on a daily basis, if the abortion would have been successful in ending my life.

Every moment, however big or small, however interesting or mundane, is a gift. Listed below is my “Top 10” list of just a handful of moments that I would have missed out on over the weekend with my dear daughter, Olivia:

• Teach Olivia how to slide down the slide, and see and hear the joy that learning to do this has brought her.

• Sit in bed, surrounded by pillows, while Olivia “reads” books aloud to me.

• Experience teaching Olivia how to color and use paint to make pictures and a Father’s Day card for her Daddy.

• Watch as Olivia carried a wet diaper to her room, opened the diaper pail, and put it in!

• Witness Olivia FINALLY progressing to napping on her own, as she grabbed a kitchen towel from the front of the oven for her “blankie” and drug it into her room for her nap.

• Overhear Olivia talking to herself and singing as she awoke from a good night’s sleep and after both of her naps.

• Witness my daughter burp embarrassingly loud in the produce section of the grocery store and laughed along with the handful of other people that overheard her, as I tried to teach her to say “excuse me.”

• Watch with amazement and pride, as my tiny, yet powerful, 13-month-old knocked more than one five or six-year-old in the chest on the children’s playground, then laughed in their face as she scampered along in the sea of toys and children.

• Hold my beautiful girl in my arms after she awoke from a nap still sleepy and wanted to be rocked, and gaze into her face while I reflected on the past year of her life and what the future will hold for her.

• Experience Olivia wrapping her little arms around my neck and squeezing me hard, as she nuzzled her face in my neck for a big hug.

I got to thinking today about how people have responded to me sharing my life story with them, and I am happy to share that overall, I have experienced a wealth of support and care from people around the world, which I am so very grateful for. Although 99.9% of the responses I’ve received have been positive, I, of course, have received some negative responses and feedback. To contrast my top ten list above, here are a handful of the most interesting and negative responses that I’ve experienced:

• This has to be B.S.

• Nice performance! (Directed at me as a pro-choice student was leaving in the middle of one of my speeches and I was moved to tears telling about my father’s death and my daughter’s birth).

• Too bad that you survived.

• Just because you were wanted doesn’t mean that all of the other children who are aborted are wanted.

• So, since you survived, don’t you think that safer, more effective abortion is the answer?

In the grand scheme of life, those top 5 negative responses that I have listed above, as hurtful as they can be, pale in comparison to the plethora of positive, joyful moments that I am blessed to experience on a daily basis.

“And who says that prayers go unanswered?” Father Callahan said out loud to the group of individuals gathered at the Respect Life Service in Onawa, Iowa, on April 19, 2009, as he gave the closing prayer for the evening. Tears streaming down his face, this was not the first time this evening that the Father had been moved to tears, nor anyone else in the room at the Evangelical Free Church, for that matter.

You see, this wasn’t just any pro-life, interfaith service that took place that Sunday evening. It was a meeting of the hearts and minds, a joining of the souls, a face to face reminder that there is power in prayer, and that all life is precious.

On that Sunday evening, Father Callahan arrived for the Respect Life service grateful for the interfaith collaboration and excited to hear the speaker for the evening, saline infusion abortion survivor, Melissa Ohden.

Little did he know that as he stepped into the Church that evening, he would come face to face with one of the very babies that he had prayed for at St. Luke’s Hospital in Sioux City, Iowa, back in 1977. And likewise, little did abortion survivor, Melissa Ohden, know that she would come face to face with a man whose prayers had been answered, whose prayers had saved her life.
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I scanned the crowd during my speech that night of April 19, 2009, just like I do during every one of my speeches, searching the faces of the group gathered, for feedback about whether I was getting my message across and searching for whether they, too, had a story about how abortion has affected their life.

And just like every other time, as I scanned the crowd to gauge their response, I was met with a host of faces filled with tears, man and woman, young and old, alike. One young man on the left side of the room really stood out to me amidst the crowd. Holding his head in his hands, his head full of red hair shaking back and forth from time to time, he was visibly taken by his emotions. What those emotions were, I can only guess. Unfortunately, he came and went from the service before I had a chance to talk with him.

On the opposite side of the room from this young man, another man, likewise, caught my gaze over and over again. Like the young man, he, too, had a shock of orange-ish blond hair, and like the young man opposite him, he, too, was visibly moved to tears. As I told my personal story that evening of surviving a saline infusion abortion attempt in 1977, in Sioux City, Iowa, of my long search for the truth about the abortion attempt and for my biological parents, of my reunification with members of my biological family and struggles with their acceptance of me and the abortion attempt, of my gratitude for the resource of adoption and the power of unconditional love, and of my joy in becoming a mother, myself, this man in the crowd took in every word and I couldn’t help but wonder about him.

Everyone has a story, and in particular, I know that everyone has a story about how abortion has touched their life. I could only guess how he, too, had been affected by abortion…..that was, until he climbed onto the stage and gave the final prayer for the evening, closing the Monona County Right to Life’s Respect Life Service that evening.

And who says that prayers go unanswered? Not me. Not Father Callahan.

While he was outside of St. Luke’s hospital in 1977, praying for the killing of unborn children to end, I was inside, struggling to survive the onslaught of a saline infusion abortion over a five day period. I struggled, but I survived.

While he continued to pray over the years for the sanctity of life to be respected, I prayed for the serenity and strength to forgive my biological parents and come forward publicly to share my story with the world.

While he gave the final prayer on April 19th, tears streaming down his face as he reflected on the power of prayer, so, too, were the tears streaming down my face as I sat in the crowd, transfixed by the awe-inspiring revelation of the power of his prayer.

“I will continue to pray for you,” Father Callahan told me as we embraced in the crowd after his prayer. “And I will pray for you,” I told him in return. “It’s a deal.”

Just as Father Callahan continues to pray for the unborn, for me in my work of sharing my story as the survivor of an abortion attempt, and I pray for his continued well-being and for the strength and courage and to continue my work, I have no doubt that our prayers will continue to be heard and answered. God bless you Father Callahan—Thank you for saving my life.

On the evening of Sunday, March 15, I had a homecoming of sorts. I gave a speech in Storm Lake, Iowa, at the St. Mary’s church. Open to the public, this was the first speech of mine that my adoptive father had attended. In addition, my adoptive mother, aunt, cousins, in-laws, husband and daughter, and numerous friends from the community were present. It was kind of surreal, baring my soul to the very people who I had lived with, worked with, and gone to school with, for over 15 years. People who I, in fact, had kept the secret of being an abortion attempt survivor, from for all these years.

Although Sunday night’s speech wasn’t the best one that I’ve ever given (somehow, Olivia always seems to pull a no-sleep night with me when I need sleep the most), that really did’t matter to me. What matters is that I once again touched other people’s lives by sharing my story with them, I helped to unite the pro-life community in Storm Lake, and my family was together for the first time in a very long time. Although, in recent years, my adoptive family has experienced its share of conflict, our love for each other, and the story of how abortion affected all of our lives ties us together.

Speaking one on one with audience members is always my favorite part of a speaking event, and tonight was no exception. I got a big hug from a man who was the vice principal of my high school, which meant a lot to me. There were also a large number of foster and adoptive parents present. I always enjoy hearing about the children they’ve loved and let into their homes and hearts.

On Monday morning, I shared my story with grades 5-12 at St. Mary’s schools, and to be honest, I was really nervous about it. Although I’ve spoken to high school students before, and have worked with younger students in the past, I had never shared my personal story about abortion with younger students. Thankfully, the time and effort that I put into creating my speech, coupled with God’s guidance, made this the best event that I have ever done. For those of you that speak publicly, you know what I’m talking about—you know, right there in the midst of what you are doing, that you are nailing your speech, that you are connected with your audience, and connected I was. In that sanctuary, I was more honest with those kids than I ever have been with anyone else (besides my husband and God). From how I found out about the abortion to what my pregnancy was like with my daughter, I bared my soul to the students and let them see, firsthand, how abortion affects the lives of individuals and communities.

I was so impressed with how attentive the students were throughout my speech (especially since it was an early Monday morning), how well-behaved they were, and how insightful their questions were. I truly believe that kids have a leg-up on us as adults; they are so pure and so true.

Participating in this event with the students reinforced in me that reaching out to younger kids is key in pro-life work. Although it’s important to reach out to those young adults who are most impacted by abortion (college students), it’s even more important to reach out to kids before they get to that point, when they are busy forming their beliefs, principles.

Following the event, I was blessed to meet a handful of the students involved in the schools’ pro-life student group. What an amazing group of young people! Many, themselves, are adopted, and could relate to my story about growing up as an adoptee. The pro-life student group gave me the most wonderful gifts I have received from any speech—a HUGE thank you card on butcher paper, and a beautiful cross.

We were additionally blessed to have media coverage of the day’s event from the Pilot Tribune. Olivia and I were photographed along with some of the students from the Pro-Life student group (there is a link on the media page if you are interested).  Since that time, I have continued to hear great feedback from community members, family of students, and students themselves, about the event and how it impacted them and their perspective on abortion.

All in all, these two events in Storm Lake were a joy to do! Of course, I appreciate not having to jump on a plane and fly across the country to share my story, but even more so, I enjoy doing local events because this is not just my story, this is OUR story. The more I share my story, the more I’ve come to recognize that my story has affected tens of hundreds of people right here in my home community, and as I tell my story, it becomes the story of so many more. Thanks to all of you at St. Mary’s for your hospitality and your commitment to the pro-life movement!

This morning, Olivia and I participated in a Walk for Life for the Alpha Center in Sioux City.  I hope to get a couple of pictures from it to post here (I still need to try out the new services available).  It was a gorgeous day, and Olivia and I both enjoyed our two-mile walk down by the river, and the chance to see old friends and support a great cause.

The theme for the walk was “Love Never Fails.”  What a wonderful theme for today’s walk, and I couldn’t agree more! That’s what my life has truly been about—love and the power that unconditional love truly has.  God loved me and that’s how I survived that abortion attempt.  The nurses and doctors at the hospitals where I was treated after the abortion attempt loved me enough to provide me the life saving care I needed, nurture and nurse me back to health, and even name me so that I wasn’t just some nameless child.  My adoptive parents loved me despite the poor prognosis I was given for health and life.

I think many people are stunned to learn that I was able to come home to my adoptive parents two months after my survival of the abortion attempt.  But that’s the power of love-the love of God, the doctors and nurses and my adoptive parents—they sustained me and healed me from the sickness I suffered as a premature infant.  Likewise, I think that many people are surprised when they meet me and they discover that I am a normal, happy, healthy, successful adult.  I have suffered no physical, emotional, or mental disabilities, I have a Master’s degree, and from what people tell me, I am a talented writer and speaker.  That’s the power of love there, too.  My adoptive parents and their families, my friends, my community and school growing up, my employers, my church, all of those people have loved me at my best of times and worst of times, and supported me through my long search of finding my biological family and learning about myself.

I can’t help but think about my Olivia when I think about the power of love, of course.  I always thought that I knew what love was, but I didn’t fully understand the depths of that love until I had her.  The love that a mother has for her child is the deepest, most soulful love that must be out there in the world.  Every time I look at her, no matter what she is doing (naughty or not), it just hits me deep within my soul about how much I love her.   I love her for who she is and what she will become, and it’s my love for her that motivates me to continue to share my story with the world, to hopefully make it a better place for her.  I may not be the perfect mother, but I know that no matter what mistakes I make with raising Olivia, all will be well, because my love for her will make up for it.

Love never fails, and I am living proof of this.  Thank you to all of those people who have touched my life in one way or another and loved me!

My apologies for saying that I had catching up to do and then not doing it. Of course, now that just leaves me with even more catching up to do! I don’t know where time has gone this past year, although I am sure that everyone else can relate. Our little Olivia already turned one this past April 26th. Unbelievable! She has grown up so fast, and is truly the most amazing little person that I have ever met. I can’t wait to see what she’s going to learn and do and say next! She is walking (more like running), climbing whatever she can get her hands on, chatters away and says more words each day, and has become even more strong willed and determined (boy, are we going to have our hands fulls when she gets older)!

Thankfully, I survived a potential lay-off from work this fiscal year, but I don’t know about next year. It’s looking pretty bad at this point, but there’s no use worrying about it right now.

I’ve recently ended my speaking arrangements with Feminists for Life, and although I will greatly miss working with them, I have gained friends for life, will remain a member, and support their cause throughout my life. I am excited about the opportunities that “being on my own,” so to speak, gives me for branching out and continuing to share my story in many different contexts, especially faith-based areas. I have come to that point in my life where I just can’t not say things in my speeches about my spiritual beliefs and my gratefulness to God for saving my life, and I am grateful that I can share my story and my gratitude with the world.

I have finished the manuscript that I have written about surviving the abortion attempt, searching for and being reunited with my biological family, and finding myself in the process, and I hope to hear back soon from a literary author/speaker’s bureau about possible representation from them. Say a few prayers for me about this! This would fulfill my life long dream to really pursue full-time speaking and writing.

In case you haven’t seen it yet, my new website is up and running–thanks, John, for working on it. I love it! I need to post some more recent photos of all of us, but it’s a great update to what I had previously. On the website are some videos of interviews that I have done and some short speech clips, but we will continue to post additional speeches and interviews on YouTube. There’s this really amazing digital story posted on YouTube that’s about four minutes long, that a good friend of mine produced for me. I encourage you to check it out and share it with others. I think it’s a good example of how abortion truly affects peoples lives. As I outline on my website, “one decision, one single moment, can have such a detrimental impact on so many people, living and dead, born and yet to be conceived.”