Abortion attempt survivor. Voice for the voiceless.

Here’s another article, written by Dolores Cullen with the Storm Lake Times, whose link hasn’t been working properly.

Abortion survivor found loving family in Storm Lake, Iowa

Melissa Ohden becomes a political pro-life advocate

‘I started to make sounds and movement and that’s when they stepped in to save me.’

by dolores cullen
Storm Lake Times

Thirty-one years ago at St. Luke’s Hospital in Sioux City, Melissa, at  2 pounds, 14 ounces, fought to survive. Nurses were attending to her mother, who had had an abortion. After five days in the saline, caustic solution injected into her mother, the baby emerged – and was thought to be dead.

“I started to make sounds and movement,” said Melissa, “and that’s when they stepped in to save me.”

So began the life of a Melissa Ohden, the international pro-life speaker who now lives in Sioux City. She will be hosted by St. Mary’s Pro-Life Club to speak next Sunday and Monday in Storm Lake.

She was so unwanted that her mother chose abortion, but here’s the rest of the story: Baby Melissa was adopted by a couple who brought her to Storm Lake at age four. She graduated from Storm Lake High School in 1977 and from Buena Vista University in December 1999.

Love at first sight

Melissa’s adoptive mother Linda Cross, who moved from Storm Lake to Ida Grove a few years ago, remembers seeing “Missy” for the first time. She and her husband Ron, now of Sioux Rapids, had traveled to Iowa City where the baby had been transferred.

“A nurse there felt bad for her because she didn’t have any parents,” said Linda. “She got her a little outfit and gave her a name, because she didn’t want to  just call her ‘baby’.”

The Crosses had been told about the medical issues that could accompany the child, born between 18 and 22 weeks. Retardation, sight problems, emotional and physical disabilities were possiblities.

But, “the first time when they put her in my arms, I just knew,” recalled Linda, “I knew she was an awesome baby.” She can’t think back without choking up. Part of the baby’s dark hair was shaved to allow for intervenous feeding.

Linda describes Melissa as a child who always wanted to please her parents. That didn’t mean there weren’t conflicts in the house. When Melissa was in eighth grade she got into a fight with her older sister Tammy, who blurted out the hurtful words, “At least my parents wanted me!”

That night the girl questioned her mother. “Nothing could have prepared me for the words that came next,” writes Melissa in her blog. “Not an ounce of my being could have ever fathomed the great secret that the world around me had harbored the past 14 years of my life. ‘Your mother had an abortion during her fifth month of pregnancy, and you survived it.’

“All at once the wind was sucked out of my lungs and my stomach turned sour. Tears streaming, cries racking my body, my mother consoled me that night, and our lives were forever changed.”

Strength to face the truth

Melissa said she spent many years of her life being ashamed and embarrassed by the abortion attempt. “I was also very hurt, assuming that so little was thought of me and my potential for life. Of course, I would be lying to myself and everyone else, if I stated that I had never been angry with my biological mother for the decision that was made to end my life. Looking back on this now, I understand that this was all part of the grieving process that I had to go through.”

Others in Storm Lake knew Melissa carried a burden. Storm Lake Middle School English teacher Marsha Ingram remembers Melissa writing a paper about the abortion attempt and reading it in front of fellow eighth graders. “I know how much courage it took,” Marsha said.

Melissa credits Ingram as a teacher who was especially supportive of and  influential to her. When Ingram tells her students she isn’t there to judge, they come forth with personal stories,  like the boy who journeyed north on foot across the desert from El Salvador to the U.S.

Jim Nichols was another teacher Melissa praised: “In high school, I was very active in the Peer Help classes and in social service as a result of Mr. Nichols. He always encouraged me to use my experiences and my skills to help improve the lives of others.” Melissa became a mentor in Mrs. McKenna’s third grade class while in high school. She worked with one boy, in particular, who was struggling at home and school. Jim Nichols and Melissa remember clearly the high school awards ceremony where the boy surprised her with a dozen red roses.

“I believe I had great support growing up in Storm Lake,” said Melissa. She credits her parents for providing a loving environment. In addition to her sister Tammy, Melissa is close to her brother Dustin, who now lives in Storm Lake. (Ron and Linda had Dustin after they adopted the two girls, even though they thought they were unable to have children.)

Melissa recalled her confirmation at United Methodist Church. “I can still remember how much more it meant to me after learning about the abortion. While others picked out Bible verses like John 3:16, mine focused on God knowing me before I was born. My confirmation was definitely a celebration of faith and of life that year.”

Finding a calling

Armed with an undergraduate degree in English, education and Spanish, Melissa went on to teach one semester in the Okoboji schools. “I had a student there who changed my life,” she explained. “He stayed after class every day at the end of the day, and I later discovered that he had found his sister and mother shot to death a few months before that.  He taught me that I was meant to do more than just give kids homework.”

Melissa went on to work in a domestic violence/sexual assault shelter. She then pursued a graduate degree in social work.

She is now a Social Work Supervisor with the Department of Human Services for Woodbury and Plymouth counties. She is married to Ryan Ohden, whose parents Ron and Terry Behrens live in Storm Lake. The Ohdens are thrilled with their young daughter Olivia who was born last April.

It was only a year and a half ago that Melissa decided to come forward publicly with her story. She had wanted to make contact with her biological family. Her search ultimately led her just down the street, where she was reunited with members of her biological father’s family in Sioux City. She was saddened to read in the Sioux City Journal that her biological father died at age 50; she never met him.

“My own wishes to not be part of the rhetoric, but part of the solution, was one of the reasons why I did not come out with my story until recently,” she said.  “I still feel pressure from many to get involved in highly political and/or highly religious activities, and I refuse to do so.  I believe that it is my purpose to share my story with others and have them come to me with an open heart and an open mind; protesting, picketing and the like would only close hearts and minds, so I do not participate in them.”

Melissa doesn’t state whether she believes abortion should be legal or illegal. Instead she focuses on ways to make resources available to women and girls who are pregnant.

She has teamed with the group Feminists For Life since 2007. She has spoken at Capitol Hill, at the University of North Carolina-Wilmington, the National Students for Life Conference in Washington, a few colleges in Ontario, Canada, and at a fundraiser in Ontario, in addition to the Sioux City Interfaith Prayer Service.

She has been asked by colleges in the U.S., plus Canada and  Ireland to speak and her story has traveled around the world. Her pregnancy with Olivia and now taking care of her has limited her speaking somewhat.

Responses to Melissa’s presentations indicate to her the deep damage abortion can cause. “I have heard from men who have arranged abortions for the women in their lives and have now felt great grief over the years as a result. I have heard from women whose sisters have had abortions, and they now grieve the loss of the nieces or nephews they never knew.”

Her talks are permeated with faith in God, and gratitude to those who have helped realize her self worth.

Her father Ron isn’t surprised by the success Melissa has made of herself. “She worked very, very hard to get where she’s at,” he said. He looks back on her birth and the survival of the tiny baby who was predicted to suffer from birth defects. “Definately a  miracle. It was the way it was meant to be,” he said.

Melissa hopes people come away with an appreciation of how fragile and precious each life is. “Even though my circumstances are truly unique, we can all relate at some level to what I have experienced and how I have survived and thrived.”

Source:The Storm Lake Times

Storm Lake, Iowa

Since I’ve determined that some of the media links that I have had on the site for awhile don’t always work, I thought that I would post some of the older articles that some people may not have had a chance to read.  This one is from January 2009, written by the Globe-the Sioux City, Iowa diocese.

ABORTED AND SURVIVED
Speaker tells emotional, personal story of abortion at interfaith pro-life service

By RENEE WEBB, Globe editor
(Email Renee)

Melissa Ohden wasn’t supposed to live a healthy life, get married and have a baby.

The fact is, she wasn’t supposed to live at all.

Ohden, the keynote speaker at the Siouxland Pro-life Interfaith Prayer Memorial, told her miraculous story to a full house at Central Baptist Church in Sioux City.

“Today is not only a chance for me to share my story and hopefully inspire all of you to remain true to what you believe,” said Ohden, who works for the Department of Human Services in Sioux City, “but in another sense, this is another piece of the puzzle for me. This is another part of my healing process so I want to thank all of you for being present with me today as I heal and move forward with my life.”

Over the course of the 36 years of legalized abortion, she mentioned that 50 million lives were ended through abortion.

Unsuccessful abortion
“I am a product of an unsuccessful saline infusion abortion back in 1977, right here at St. Luke’s,” she said. “For those of you who are not aware, saline abortions involve injecting a caustic saline solution into the amniotic fluid which causes the fetus to be scalded to death and then delivered dead.”

Over a course of five days, Ohden said she endured breathing in and swallowing that toxic salt solution while numerous rounds of pitocin were given to her mother with the intent to induce labor and expel her dead body from her mother’s womb.

“When I was delivered on that fifth day by a nurse, of course, I was believed to be dead,” she said. “Weighing a little over two pounds and suffering from jaundice and severe respiratory distress, my future appeared to be bleak but I was alive.”

Ohden said she was thankful to the medical staff at St. Luke’s who gave her the medical attention she needed to live. She acknowledged that oftentimes when the babies survive abortion attempts, they are not provided with medical care.

Her birth mother had been estimated to be between 18 and 22 weeks pregnant, but later review of medical records estimate the gestation at about 24 weeks.

“The doctors believed that I would suffer from any one of a number of physical, emotional or mental disabilities as a result of the abortion procedure and my subsequent premature birth,” Ohden said.

Wanted
Her voice filled with emotion and her eyes filled with tears as she said her adoptive parents took a chance on raising a child who might not live.

“I was wanted,” she said. “When people say that there are unwanted children or that unplanned pregnancies automatically mean that a child is unwanted, I know that is so untrue.”

Ohden pointed out that she has only spoken out publicly about her story in the last year-and-a-half. She has struggled with feelings of guilt, shame and anger.

“I know that I am a miracle and I know that I am supposed to be here with all of you,” she said.

The 31-year-old woman mentioned that she had searched for her birth records for 10 years and finally received them in the spring of 2007. She said she hadn’t wanted to share her story until she had made an attempt to contact her parents because there was a part of her that wanted to protect them.

“I wanted to let them know that I am alive, I am well and that I forgive them,” said Ohden, who added that she has not been able to speak with her biological mother in person but has been in contact with her grandfather through a letter. She learned some information about her biological parents, such as that they were college students and had been dating for four years. “I learned that my biological mother went on to have two other daughters and that she had never told anyone about me.”

She had sent a letter to her biological father but had not heard from him. Later, she learned that he died this last summer. His family had been unaware of the situation but found Ohden’s letter in his belongings after his death.

“It breaks my heart to know that my biological father passed on from this world still carrying that shame and that secret,” she said. But through her father’s death and with the secret uncovered, she meets regularly with her paternal grandfather and has communicated with her dad’s wife via e-mail.

While she could hold feelings of bitterness, she stressed the fact that she has chosen to be grateful. If her mother’s abortion would have been successful, Ohden said she would have died before she could have experienced the deep love and affection that a parent has for a child, gotten married or had the many other wonderful life experiences.

“On April 26 this past year, Olivia was born at the very same hospital where my life was supposed to end,” said Ohden of her daughter. “I think that was the way it was supposed to turn out. That place that was supposed to be such a horrible reminder is now a place of great joy for me.”

Despite her forgiving heart, she admitted that in the first weeks of her daughter’s life, she became angry over the thought that had her mother’s abortion been successful, her daughter would not be here.

Part of solution
One of the reasons why she wanted to tell her story, Ohden said, was to be part of the solution rather than just part of the rhetoric. That made it all the more important to join with a pro-life organization that she could be passionate about.

“I’m so glad I found Feminists for Life,” she said. “Our values are shaped by the core feminist values of nondiscrimination, nonviolence and justice for all. Established in 1972, Feminists for Life is a nonsectarian, nonpartisan group organization which seeks real solutions to the problems that women like my biological mother face.”

She said Feminists for Life is driven by the vision that abortion is a reflection that the needs of women have not been met.

“Due to its very nature, we know that abortion is a silent killer,” said the speaker. “Yet it’s not just unborn children that fall victim to the silent killer, it’s the women that have the abortions. It’s the men, grandparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, siblings, friends, the community. We are all attacked by abortion.”

If there were options and resources available to her biological mother, she said she truly believes that her mother would have made a different choice.

“As difficult as it is for me to tell my story, I know this is what I am meant to do,” said Ohden. “The secrets of that fateful day in 1977 end now. I cannot and I will not allow my voice to be silenced by abortion and I encourage all of you to leave today and share my story with others” so they will open their hearts and minds to every human life and the “power of unconditional love and forgiveness.”

She also encouraged those gathered to refuse to choose between women and children because “it doesn’t have to be either or, it is both and.”

Dr. Don Cork of Central Baptist Church, who was the master of ceremonies, summed up the keynote speaker’s presentation well with one word, “wow.” He encouraged those gathered to take up Ohden’s challenge to promote life.

Presentation of roses
Earlier in the program, the interfaith service featured the Presentation of the Roses, which has become a staple of this prayer memorial.

Thirty-six people representing each year from infancy through age 36 carried a rose to the front of the church as Larry Walsh, a member of the spiritual life committee at Trinity Heights, read Scripture verses, famous quotes and pro-life stats.

“These roses are the finest of God’s creation in the flower world,” said Walsh, after the final rose had been placed in the vase. “They represent 36 years of destruction of God’s finest gift to man, an innocent child, full of hope, full of promise – more than 50 million in the United States alone.”

He explained how the roses were to be placed on the Tomb of the Unborn Child to e left out in the cold to wither and die, just as the future sons and daughters of the world die through the cold reality of abortion.
FOCA and 40 Days

Mark Thomason, pro-life contact person for the Diocese of Sioux City, was also invited to say a few words regarding the Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA) and the new pro-life campaign that was introduced in the city last fall, 40 Days for Life.

“I address you as a fellow Christian and an American,” he said. “The days are upon us when we must stand up and fight for life in brand new ways because the threats on life are more formidable at present.”

Abortion, Thomason noted, in the past was something that people didn’t want to think about or talk about. Now, it has moved from something that one must put up with to something perceived as a personal right.

He warned of the dangers of FOCA, how it would remove abortion restrictions and would impact hospitals. He also reminded the people that the new president has said that he would sign FOCA if it came to his desk.
Thomason told them about 40 Days for Life and called it a great way for pro-lifers to voice their message to the people on the streets, which he believes is the best place to spread the word.

He urged them to become involved in the upcoming 40 Days campaign and the Fight FOCA postcard campaign.

“No longer can we as pro-lifers be the silent majority,” said Thomason. “We must become vocal. We must speak out and say no to FOCA and no to abortion.”

Father Brad Pelzel, diocesan vocations director, offered the closing prayer.

I was completely caught off guard when surfing the Internet tonight. I was on the Pro-Life Radio site and the headline about George Tiller’s murder flashed across the home page.

It’s interesting, I have such incredibly mixed feelings about this. I strangely feel saddened by his death. I guess that’s the true pro-lifer in me. Although I obviously disagree with the decisions that Mr. Tiller made in his life and the things that he did, I don’t believe that any human being deserves to be gunned down and murdered.

I haven’t thought about the abortionist who performed my biological mother’s abortion for a long time, and Mr. Tiller’s death has me thinking about that doctor tonight. I wonder if that abortionist knew right away that I had lived, or if others stepped in to save me? I wonder if my survival had any impact, if any, on their decision to continue to perform abortions? I wonder, if they are still alive today, if they’ve seen any of my information and have any inkling that I am the child that they failed to kill?

When I was younger, I used to envision that the abortionist had a change of heart at the last minute, saw that I was alive, and was part of the group of people that saved my life. As I have gotten older, this little fantasy of mine seems incredibly far-fetched, but I guess I will never truly know about how the abortion came about and the abortionist who carried it out.

What I do know, in my heart, is that no matter what that abortionist did or did not do for me that fateful day in 1977, I forgive them for what they did; it is not my place to be their judge and jury and I will leave that in the hands of God. And what I also know is that despite their attempt to end my life, that abortionist, just like George Tiller, would not deserve to be gunned down and murdered. Although I can certainly understand the passion that drives some people to take things into their own hands, and end the destruction that someone is causing, it is so contradictory as a pro-lifer to take that offending person’s life. And unfortunately, it is such instances as George Tiller’s murder that often reflect poorly on the pro-life movement. Instead of focusing on the facts of abortion and the important testimonies of those that have been harmed by it, such as myself, pro-lifers often all get labeled as domestic terrorists, anti-choice misfits, and the like.

May Mr. Tiller rest in peace, although his name will live on in infamy, and may the pro-life movement not have its’ eye blackened by his murder.